How are you all? So for anyone that doesn't read my blog you you won't know the absolutely shite couple of years I have had blah blah blah heart ripped out, stamped on etc......so my love button has officially been turned to off! Like more off than off can actually be! I've not wanted love (and by love I mean romantic love) for some reason I seem to attract men that like to grab a hold of your heart and basically play football with it, then use it as a punch bag and piss on the remains. So from being cheated on, to someone putting me second, the can't commits and a string of men that have basically just been used for 'needs' (sorry huns) And sorry to anyone who has genuinely tried to get close to me in my hard ass mother fucker stage. I think the time and feeling has actually come for me to turn my love button back on! Not to be worried that I'm broken or there is something wrong with me. I'm mean I'm going to allow myself those beautiful feelings again. I know now that I did switch it off from fear of being hurt again but fuck that shit, no more am I going to deny myself the fruits of love and all the other rainbows, unicorns and wonderfulness that come with it!
If you're like me.......I love being in love but it's been tough to get out of the dark cave I was in. I have so much love to give the right man. So I've had to do/get over the following......to turn my love button back on! More mushy love shit the better for me!
1. Well the first thing I have done is learn to love me, its taken a while but I'm there. And why not? I'm fucking awesome! Self Love is definitely the way forward! And actually being happy on my own!
2. Take responsibility for my past. All though some of the crazy shit that happened wasn't my fault there are ways I could have done stuff differently.....Learnt a very good lesson.
3. The past is not my future. Anxiety is an absolute bastard for anyone who suffers like me! Always living in the future does you no favours what so ever!
4. Tarring ALL men with the same brush.........which means........Not all men are absolute fuck holes of sucky shit! There are some really nice ones.
5. Work out exactly what it is I want and not settle for some half arsed wanker just because they 'liked' my profile pic on facebook. I mean someone who really wants to love me, love my boys, be able to surprise each other, comfort each other, encourage each other in everything we do, do romantic stuff, and make beautiful memories together!
So here goes! I'm off the get the shit kicked out of me by love........when it happens I'm ready!