I write this firstly with an apology for my lack of presence during the last few months and even with the Autumn and Winter Challenge still going i feel the need to extend it throughout 2017.
The truth is that 2016 has been an eventful year not only in my personal life but also in the media with near enough all my childhood memorable celebrities passing away firstly the legend that is David Bowie followed by Alan Rickman, Cilla Black, Victoria Wood and of course very recently George Michael, Carrie Fisher and of the legend Mrs Cropley Liz Smith! From leaving the EU in which I did vote to leave and also the shooting of a gorilla!
My son Arthur was born in May this year and from a shit storm him joining the world has been the only positive event! Those of you that read my diary earlier on this year will know that my relationship broke down very early on whilst I was still pregnant. To me the relationship had its ups and downs but the damage caused in the last few months was irreparable and devastating to me personally and totally knocked any ounce of confidence I had. Both myself George and Bump moved into my mums house for three months and then was lucky enough to rent our own house just over the road by this time Arthur had joined us and we became a 3 in our little house. I went from being what I thought was a happy normal relationship to being a single mum of two and in a different home on our own very quickly and rapidly I had to adjust to being a one parent family and literally doing everything! Anyone who has been in this situation my heart goes out to you as the pain of trying to survive whilst trying to be positive for your children with the added bonus of ultimate heartbreak on top is unreal and very hard to pull off.
The nights I have cried and asked myself 'Why me?' 'What did I do?' 'What's wrong with me?' notice that in all of these I am referring to me being the one with the issue and it's taken me a good 6 months to actually get my head around that I have done nothing wrong, I'm still fabulous and that sometimes you can honestly just love the wrong person and get your heart broken. Not only do you lose your partner but your best friend, another family and life as your knew it you are actually grieving for someone who is still actually around. As we move into 2017 I am feeling much more positive with the help of my awesome family and friends I could honestly not ask for a better support network from advice, to help with the kids and generally just keeping me up when I thought I was drowning.
I lost everything my confidence, my mojo, my love of blogging and my take on what I thought life was and now that I have had sometime to re-evaluate my self respect and the way life should be I feel I can come back into the the bloggesphere and enjoy being Mrs Pud again and write in my way not in the robotic way I feel I have for the past year. I can't promise at the moment that my life will allow me to blog everyday, nor do i think my confidence is back for a fashion post as yet but I hope to be back on form soon.
So here's to the old cliche but 'NEW BEGINNINGS' for 2017 (shout CHEERS very loudly) and I will have one if not for the children but for me..... I need it. I need closure and things to look forward to again, I need to feel confident in my own skin, in my writing and also in our future.
Thanks for reading you bunch of lovelies......Here's to taking a different path but not because I thought I would but because I have had to!
If any of my lovely readers have been in a similar situation I'd love to hear from you! firstname.lastname@example.org
Yorkshire Pud xx
p.s I will do my competition draw in the new year!
p.p.s All the best show your breasts!
(Image taken from Google Images)